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driving-in-the-sampala:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

First

(Source: penceyprepofficial)

euclase:

rockchester:

Sorry, I’m still stuck on that Gordon Ramsay as the Potions Master post.

"We’re going to use fresh, vibrant dragon toenails, locally grown and sustainable."

"You don’t add eye of newt to a room temperature cauldron, you ignorant shit."

"It’s fucking raw!"

This would go great with Bobby Singer, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Here, let me look it up in my How to Sweet-Talk Ukrainian Dragons manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one."

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